Oh Nursing School....

This is how I am spending this beautiful Sunday afternoon ---> 

                   

And this is how I WISH I was spending my Sunday afternoon. (On a lake, at the beach, or anywhere but my couch really...) *SIGH*

     

The only thing that makes this afternoon a TINY bit bearable is the new music Adam gave me yesterday. Beulah, Bloc Party, Tilly and the Wall, etc. But I think they would sound a million times better through some boat speakers on a lake............. 

Dear Left Foot.

Dear Left Foot,

I wish that you would stop tingling so. I have grown to despise your constant "I'm Falling Asleep" burning sensation. Just wake up already!! It has been almost a week, I think it is finally time.

Love, 

Erika 

     Okay so for real, my foot has been doing this weird sensation since Sunday night, after I worked a 12 hour shift. Well, finally on Thursday I got tired of it and went to my trusty Chiropractor! Turns out I have a bulging disk in the L5 space which is pressing on my sciatic nerve. WONDERFUL! I've been icing my back like 4 times a day since Thursday and have to get adjusted twice a week for two weeks. As if I needed another thing to fit into my schedule... OH well...I just want the tingling to go away. 

     I also found out that I have a birth defect in my spine--a mild form of Spina Bifida called Spina Bifida Occulta. Who would have known? Apparently a lot of people have this, like up to 30-40% of the population, but it doesn't normally produce symptoms. Basically, my L5 didn't finish ossifying (the bone forming) so the vertebrae is weaker and the surrounding muscles have to work harder. Which is explains why I have had chronic low back pain since I was 14. It never has been excruciating pain or enough to take pain meds, just an annoying ache if I am on my feet a lot, exercise too much, etc. I just thought this bit of information was interesting! 

Here is a picture I found on my computer of me and my Dad! I thought it was precious and had to share!

The 25

My 25.

1. I have recurring nightmares that I am forced to put a giant contact into my eye. I can never get it to fit.
2. I used to watch Baywatch like every afternoon when I was little. I was obsessed with David Chokachi. Mmmm....
3. My biggest dream or desire in my life is to have children of my own. I have this irrational fear that I won't be able to.
4. I have never made a B before--on a report card or in a class. I am an overachiever. But I am sure my day is coming...
5. I am persistent and stubborn. Sometimes these qualities are great, and sometimes not. Adam and I have had to learn how to compromise when it comes to disagreements :) More like I had to learn haha (and am still learning)
6. I have thought about this 25 list for the past two weeks...I couldn't get it out of my head so I decided I should just do it so I can stop thinking of my 25...
7. Whenever I talk to old people (especially if they are my patients), my voice gets about two pitches higher and transforms into a thick, southern accent. Weird? Yes. Annoying? Yes. 
8. I honestly believe Katy and I were made to be best friends. I don't know anyone else that clicks with me the way that she does.
9.  I still love my highschool friends! We would still hang out all the time if we weren't so far away.
10. It makes me laugh to think that Adam and I were in the same 5th grade class together. I met my "potential hubby" in the 5th grade!! CRAZY...But he doesn't remember me hahahaha
11. I wish my hair were thicker :(
12. I once helped to save a life--a choking 1 year olds life! Praise God for CPR courses.
13. I never realized, until a few nights ago, how close I came to losing my baby sister when I was younger!! She was hit by a car but walked away with scratches...
14. I hadn't really thought much of it since it happened way back then, until I had a nightmare about my dog being run over by a car. Which led to me thinking about Hannah...I still have that image in my head of her running out in the street. 
15. The summer after my freshman year of college was one of the best and most challenging summers I've ever had. I did an internship with Shoal Creek Community Church in Liberty, MO. I learned so much about myself that summer and made some incredible friendships...some I wish I still had. My heart aches when I think about how much I miss that summer.
16. I think im going to have to have like 20 bridesmaids one day! 
17. Adam is one of the most genuine and kind-hearted people I know. He is 100% loyal to whatever he commits himself to. I still get excited when I think about how much he loves me. 
18. The Lord has spared me from a lot of heartache thus far in my life. I am incredibly blessed to be where I am now.
19. I want nothing more than for people to look at my life and see Christ. I want people to feel and see His love through me. This sounds so cliche but it really is something I desire. I cannot imagine walking this earth not feeling the love that I do each day from Him. I can't imagine not having His strength to rely on each day. 
20. The coolest thing to me is this: God's grace is renewed each day. There is nothing I could do that will separate me from His love. I am a wretched person! I do and think and say awful things!! I have an ugly heart, yet He still chooses me? Unfathomable. 
21. I see this picture of God's grace through Adam.
22. I read people's blogs daily that I have never met before. Call me pathetic but I love reading about people's lives--their struggles, pains, joys. Raw life is beautiful and it is something that interests me. People are fascinating!! 
23. I have to have the right amount of ice to diet coke in my glass. Otherwise, it doesn't taste as good to me. 
24. I HATE when cold things touch my skin!! Ewwww.
25. I sometimes long to be a child again. I miss the beauty of innocence and dependance. Being an adult has its perks, but I sometimes wish.....just for one day....

Kris Allen

     So, I've never been much of an idol watcher. I mean, I have watched the tryout portion of the show a few times, but I have never followed a season like I have this season. And that's simply because of Kris Allen!! It's really neat to see someone like that on national television--to read about him in the tabloids, etc. If anyone is deserving to be on that show, it's Kris! I don't know him personally but I have only ever heard wonderful things about him. And his wife is absolutely precious!!! I teared up watching her reaction when he was announced as Top 12 last night! It was just so adorable. I will continue to watch and vote like crazy and I hope that he makes it far!!! WOOHOO

     I love that I can actually play a part in him making it far on the show--I mean, maybe my votes don't make a huge difference, but it's a difference none the less. It's been really inspiring to watch how Conway has pulled together to support Kris! People are coming together to host watch parties and vote. There have been flyers made, news segments, radio announcements, etc! I mean, I was in one of my nursing classes the other day and someone had written an announcement for him on the marker board. How cool is that? K-life is also a HUGE supporter of Kris!! Love it.

     I think it speaks mountains that he has made it this far with as little air time as he has had thus far. I mean, at the beginning of the show and in hollywood--we were straining our eyes, pausing the DVR and saying "Is that him?! Is that the back of his head??" You wouldn't even know who he was if he hadn't made it to the top 36! But, his voice and performance have gotten him through--which is what it should be. Yay Kris!!!

Here's a video of him singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"--I snagged it off "Joe's Place Blog"

Kroger: it's Love-Hate relationship

 

Kroger

Things I hate about you

-You are always so crowded whenever I seem to find the time to go. Never go to Kroger on a Sunday afternoon, or on a weekday between 4-6. You are always infested with soccer-mom's-on-speed. They pick up their kids from school, then head to the grocers for some supper fixin's. Those women are on a freaking mission!! You are no longer a grocery store during those hours, you are a battlefield. Don't step out in front of these vicious ladies---they are not afraid of a little blood. 

-I always manage to pick out the cart that has only 3 working wheels. This means that whenever I need to maneuver around someone or something--perhaps a fruit stand or stray child--I have to literally pick the sucker up and slide it out of harms way. This is not a cute or quiet process. The working 3 wheels make an awful noise in protest, because, in fact, they are doing their job and do not see the necessity in being picked up. Sure, i manage to save the feral child's life, but I have attracted everyone else's attention in the process. Everyone wants to know who the idiot is trying to pop a wheelie with her shopping cart. No, fellow Kroger customer, I am not popping wheelies. I am saving your rampant child's life! Now go buy a child-leash and harness that baby!!! 

-Kroger, you are far too confusing and large for me to navigate. Please offer your customers a complimentary map at the the entrance so I don't look like such an idiot when I wander around the entire store in search of Pizza Zip!! Then, I could get my shopping done in a more efficient manner and not have to pace the aisle with my lame cart. Yes, I know Kroger should be relatively easy to navigate, but come on, some people just weren't made to instinctively know where things are. I have trouble finding my way home sometimes....

-You always cause a squabble between Adam and I. I am a one-track minded kind of person. I get in there and am thinking about everything I need to grab. I look at everything in the aisle to make sure I didn't miss something (which happens quite a lot). I am so focused on manuevering my ghetto fabulous cart and getting my items that I don't initiate getting out of people's way. Sure, I dodge the necessities (children, stacked displays, glass jars), but I am not too concerned with anything that is not in my or their immediate danger. Adam is so opposite. He is always getting out of the way, opening doors, moving things, etc. He gets so frustrated with me when I don't jump at this opportunity. I think it's kinda funny. Speaks a lot about his character! But definitely not mine ;) I am getting better tho! ((The gentleman below))

Things I love about you: 

-Kroger cards--although I can never seem to find that sucker in my wallet. I keep putting it in different places so I'll remember to use it, but then I end up looking where I put it the time before that and I can't seem to find the new residing place. I know, I know. I am a little ditzy at times. It's not my fault, I got it from Leah. 

-Self-checkout--I consider myself an independent girl, so naturally, I love the self-checkouts. It's easy, quick and usually never has lines (probably because it takes a while to figure out. That or people just have a fetish for watching the bag boy bag their groceries....HA)

No time. No blog.

Nursing school has officially taken over my life. I'm in my second year though!! It will be over before I know it. It's just hard to see the end right now... gurrr

It's Dia-beeties. Not Dia-beetus.

Two posts in one day? I must really be procrastinating :)

I just wanted to post something that has been on my mind lately--something silly that shouldn't be but is. 

     So, many of you know--at least if you know me personally you do--that I am a type I diabetic. I have had diabetes for a little over six years now. I was diagnosed at 14 and spent a week at Arkansas Children's Hospital. Fortunately, I haven't had any significant complications and have never had to be hospitalized because of it. Being in the healthcare profession has made me extra careful with controlling my diabetes. I get to learn every day about the complications and awful diseases that can be a result of diabetes (oaky, maybe not every day but it seems like it sometimes!) I will probably have heart disease when I'm older. I might start to lose the feeling in my legs one day. I could possibly have to have something amputated if I get 

an infected sore. I could go blind, deaf.....You get the picture. The LAST thing I want to do is live my life in fear of all of these nasty complications. I want to recognize that they could happen so that I will do everything in my power to control my blood sugars, but I refuse to let them haunt them. I refuse to be crippled with fear. I refuse to spend my life wondering in which form or fas

hion I will leave this earth. I am not guaranteed tomorrow and need to "let tomorrow worry about itself, for each day has enough trouble of its own". Matt 6:34 

    If you know me, you know that I am not afraid of talking about my disease. I think this was the first step for me in refusing to let this disease control me. I decided to be as open as possible with it. I will not let it keep me in the shadows. The Lord does not want me to become defeated. He allowed me to have this disease, therefore He will give me the courage and the strength to live each day with it. I just have to be more purposeful and responsible. I have to plan ahead and make sure I always have access to things like juice, plenty of insulin, and my glucometer. I have to be more intentional with working out--making sure I have eaten enough protein to get me through my run. 

     I'm not going to lie, there are days that I am down. There are days where I get frustrated and wish I could disconnect from the wires and 

toss my needles out the window. I am human. I am emotional. I am not invincible. The thing that probably annoys me the most about diabetes is when it sets me back or keeps me from doing something I would have done had I not been stricken with a low blood sugar, high blood sugar, or whatever. Sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing--take a break and drink a juice box. I don't like that. I want my diabetes to fit nicely into my life and not cause me any grief. I would love to just eat a donut and not think about all of the ridiculous questions that come with diabetes. How many carbs is in this? How much insulin will I have to give? What will this do to my blood sugar two hours later? 

    Ironically, as I type this my blood sugar is 348. Not cool. It should be in the 80-100 range. And its not. Therefore I have a headache, feel a little whoozy, and am extremely thirsty. Why is it three hundred you ask? Well, unfortunately, I can do everything right-- check my blood sugar before eating, bolus for how many carbs I ate, and yet it still isn't within normal limits. That's because things like stress, hormones, heat, exercise, and metabolism can affect your blood sugar. It also could be that my pump site is old, kinked, or clogged. This would mean that the bolus of insulin I administered never made it into my body. Talk about frustrating ;) However, I shouldn't complain because technological advancements have made this disease soo much more manageable. People used to have to pee on a stick every time they wanted to know their blood sugar level. Now THAT would suck. 

     I made a choice somewhere down the line that I would embrace diabetes. I made a choice that I would live with it and not against it. I will not spend my life resenting or pouting or asking for pity. This blog is definitely not meant for people to feel sorry for me! I am blessed beyond measure. I am completely healthy, despite the diabetes, and even then I am more fortunate then some. I have a Father who has a plan for me--who loves me and cares for me and gives me strength to live each day. 

     My main desire is this: I want to be able to take this courage that I have been given and help others. I want to be able to be a light for those who have let this disease pull them in the shadows. I want to be able to make a difference in their lives, because I know what they are going through. I feel their pain. I feel their frustration. Most importantly, I have felt their hopelessness. But that is no place to live. A heart without hope is a dead heart. 

I have no idea why I just wrote all of this but I felt compelled to and it helped me to get it off my chest! I hope that it can help someone, anyone. Then this nasty ol' disease I have can be worth it!